What did you think I was refering to? Batman?! Ladies and gentlemen, we've done it. In my life alone we've overcome numerous terrorist attacks, we've advanced from physical film to digital space in less than twenty years, we've impeached a President, watched a religious institution fall from grace, we watched and loved and scorned and mourned the one and only Thriller, we survived a Not-So-Great-Depression, we've been through hell and back as Americans - but the culmination of society is here. We needn't look any further than Twitter..
Now, within the power of 160 characters you can find out exactly what I'm doing. At THIS. very. moment.
I'm roaming around the house, sans pants makin' rap tunes (of COURSE ever since shorties was gettin' Sasoon's)? You're there, baby.
My hot dog attacks me during a vicious and competitive game of fetch? I should tweet it before they stitch it!
I'm on a date with a lady three leagues out of my range and doing a spot on Hindenburg impression? Of course you should know about it!
Incoherent ramblings and garbled letters at 4:39AM on a Saturday night/Sunday morning? Sure, that's me!
Not just the trials and tribulations, the pure and utter sad comedy that is my life, not only do you have the ability (if I so foolishly choose to post such deeds) to view that. But you can find this-mili-trili-nano-second-breaking news on twitter...
I'm sure most of the educated folks who read this blog (.....) heard of the events in Iran. Neda's story, the woman who's become one of the many symbols of that revolution, was spread globally based on twitter. With links to youtube the world had a very unique look, a first hand look from the ground level of a country whose unrest grew into anger and frustration to the point where innocent lives were lost for no reason, explained or otherwise.
BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE!!
Sports and TWEETS! Tweets and Sports!! Follow us LIVE on ABC!
Sports media, and to a larger degree, the global media, is flocking to Twitter like..well..err..birds..
Stories are breaking on Twitter. Free agent signings are blowing up in less than 160 characters. Shaq is playing hide and seek with tickets to Heat/Suns/Cavs games for Chrissake!
Senators are busting on Nancy Pelosi's smile at the friggin' STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS! Folks! We are THERE! WE HAVE DONE IT!!
We've already come full circle with this little contraption and it's simply amazing. It's instant reaction. Knee-jerk. In a society of 'what-have-you-done-for-me-lately' it is the pinnacle. We've reached the promise land. Tweeting is both instant and forgetable. You can tweet something stupid, silly, incoherent, assinine, derogetory, heart warming, sappy, cheerful, sympathetic, angry and whatever it is it will all reach the same people, all instantly - but within SECONDS it will be washed away. Like the tide rolling in and out on an ocean beach. It's always a constant, but a variable constant.
What is the POINT, Moo?! - Alright, alright, I'll get to it..
I'm waiting for some Sox tweeters..
because..well..
I haven't found any. This makes me sad. Hear me out...
I'd love to see Ortiz tweeting after the game instead of heading to the media to answer the same mindless questions with the same mindless answers. The game of cat and mouse is done, it's silly and it needs a change.
I want to hear Josh Beckett, unfiltered in 160 characters after a start.
I want to 'follow' Kevin Youkilis while he hunts big game and cuts down Canadian Elm trees with his beard.
I'd like daily, and if needed, hourly updates on Tito's medicinal intake - simply to make sure he's taking the right stuff at the right time.. I don't care if I love that man like a father. He can do no wrong.
But most of all..most importantly, the one current Sox I'd love to have with a tweeter-equipped-blackberry attached to his hip would be Little Dusty himself..
the guy talks three dump trucks worth of sh*&t in a single twenty four hour span, and I would gobble it all up like it was Denny's 'Endless Grand Slam Breakfast' after two days of drinking..let us indulge...
When Dusty hits a three run double off of Jonathan Albaladejo in the 7th inning of a Yankees game I want him tweeting 'Albala-see-ya' from second base after a double clap. You know; where he gives that toothy, open mouthed, I-told-you-so smirk that evolves into a full on 'F-you, I'll date your sister-and-make-out-with-your-mom' smile.
When Dusty is out drinking with Lester and Ellsbury I'm willing to flock to his tweets about roughing up Vance and Brent from Stanford, you know, those just-walked-out-of-a-Dockers-commercial-Yankee-fans..
Imagine the possibilities..feel free to talk amongst yourselves.
Jeeeeez...
I've taken up a hell of a lot more than 160 characters..
and I've bored you for about a million more..
'Ladies and gentlemen, we've come full circle. The digital age is complete.
I'm tweeting on the toilet.'
Look - I still have 32 characters left!!
*If you want to follow random 'throw-aways' and mindless musings you can follow me on twitter at http://www.twitter.com/mootek
or just keep on keeping on right here at blogspot.. http://mootek.blogspot.com
Selfish plugs are over with..
resuming radio silence..
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